Liverpool FC

In another incarnation, back in the eighties, I managed a pop band. Early on, we did a ‘No-Nukes’ tour of Britain, struggling from one town to another in a busted Transit van, often pushing it through the snow. Penniless, we relied on handouts for food and petrol. Eventually we got to Liverpool and our van ground to a halt outside the University Student Union. On our return, we found the window smashed and my bag taken. Years later, when we were massively successful, we toured the world without incident. When we got to Liverpool, my car window was smashed and my briefcase removed. It was a with a rueful smile that I first heard the Leeds FC football song, ‘We’ve got Dom Mateo, You’ve got our stereos’ sung at Anfield.

As a people, the citizens of Liverpool give the impression that they think themselves better than the rest of us. They alone have the backbone to stand up for the working man while the rest of us meekly capitulate and take the Tory bribes. It’s thoughts like this that come into your mind when you ask the question – Why does everyone hate Liverpool? Not so long ago, Rod Liddell said in the Sunday Times that, of the 92 clubs in the football league, Liverpool was approximately 92nd in his affections.

The Internet is awash with sites listing reasons for hating them. They got us chucked out of Europe. They think they’re good and they’re not. They’ve never won the Premiership since it started in 1992. Blackburn Rovers have won the Premiership more times than Liverpool. They think they are going to win it this year with claims of 80% probability plucked from the air, prompting Alan Shearer’s first ever joke that he thought it to be more like 79%. People sneer and say they’ve heard it all before and they’ll finish a sorry third at best.

And yet, watching them at St. James’ Park yesterday, I found an unwelcome but undeniable feeling stirring within me that, finally, they might actually be good. I dare say I was not alone among football betting fans in thinking this. The discipline of their defence produces a formidable formation of protection that looks impenetrable. Their mid-field was relentlessly inventive and their attack cool and composed. Most importantly, it all looked repeatable. This is their nineteenth attempt at the title and, I’d say, their best chance yet.